[ Nothing Dirk is rambling out right now makes a whole lot of sense. He's upset and the stream of consciousness he's tossing Jake's way isn't easy to follow, but he gets some of it. He already got it that Dirk doesn't feel he wants to be there, that he doesn't love him or the kids, and it's because.... he's never there? Because Dirk has tried to make him stay and he won't?
He racks his brain for these instances, and all he can come up with are a dozen or so times that Dirk has dropped some vague hints he wasn't happy that Jake was running out, but... Jake had thought it was a time thing. Like Dirk wanted him around at the moment, and they'd always talked it out.
At least... Jake thought they had. ... Jake had always explained his reasons for leaving, and promised to come back.
Maybe that wasn't enough. Dirk has always been very sensitive about things, and not always the most straight forward in his approach. Maybe, just maybe (and Jake doesn't think he's really going out on a limb here) Dirk was not as okay with Jake's galavanting all over the world after all.
Either way, if Dirk decides he wants to shove Jake off, he's gonna have some problems with it, because if Jake actually held Dirk any tighter than this. ]
What if...
[ He swallows nervously. What he's thinking of suggesting isn't something he really wants to even consider, much less promise to someone. But it's starting to feel like an either or option. He either keeps doing what he's doing now, and loses Dirk and Dave, or he gives up the adventuring, and....
Well, there is no and. As much as it hurts, as much as this is the last thing he ever wanted to have to do, there is one thing he's sure he can't live without at this point in his life. ]
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He racks his brain for these instances, and all he can come up with are a dozen or so times that Dirk has dropped some vague hints he wasn't happy that Jake was running out, but... Jake had thought it was a time thing. Like Dirk wanted him around at the moment, and they'd always talked it out.
At least... Jake thought they had. ... Jake had always explained his reasons for leaving, and promised to come back.
Maybe that wasn't enough. Dirk has always been very sensitive about things, and not always the most straight forward in his approach. Maybe, just maybe (and Jake doesn't think he's really going out on a limb here) Dirk was not as okay with Jake's galavanting all over the world after all.
Either way, if Dirk decides he wants to shove Jake off, he's gonna have some problems with it, because if Jake actually held Dirk any tighter than this. ]
What if...
[ He swallows nervously. What he's thinking of suggesting isn't something he really wants to even consider, much less promise to someone. But it's starting to feel like an either or option. He either keeps doing what he's doing now, and loses Dirk and Dave, or he gives up the adventuring, and....
Well, there is no and. As much as it hurts, as much as this is the last thing he ever wanted to have to do, there is one thing he's sure he can't live without at this point in his life. ]
What if I promise I'll never leave again?
[ And thing is his family. ]